Only you ...

2007-06-16T10:59:00.000+08:00

5 more days to my big day. i feel so anxious and excited. i hope everything will turn out well! i still have so much to do and so little time. prepare hong bao money, liase with restaurant regarding projector, wait for photos to be ready, my facial and manicure/pedicure and pack luggage...haha..
yesterday i went to the bridal shop to take my measurements again. and it was upsetting ok....because i have increased all over..by at least an inch. my waist 2 inches!! so have to re-alter my wedding gowns. haha...it was a happy and sad thing actually. putting on weight means baby is growing.. =)
yesterday i went to the gynae too. i did another ultrascan and gosh, i was so touched i almost wanted to cry. i could see the baby already. and he/she is so active in my tummy. i even got to hear the heartbeat..loud and clear. measuring 6.13cm now..i could see clearly his/her hands and legs. my goodness...i cannot imagine, a life inside me.. the delivery date is now 24th december 2007. brought forward by 5 days.. i hope its gonna be a christmas baby!! all the nausea and discomforts was all worth it..it just didnt matter anymore when i saw baby.. i feel so happy. can you feel my joy? =D

2007-06-07T10:40:00.000+08:00

getting up early is a new habit of mine.. no matter how late i slept the night before, i still wake up early. nothing bad..just that i dont really have anything in mind to do so early. haha.. today i am off. gonna stay at home to do some spring cleaning.

our wedding is just 2 weeks away..almost everything has been done. i dont know if i feel happy, anxious or worried. i just hope to get over with it soon. many still ask me the same question "are you sure? this is for life..." well, how can i say no when i already have got baby in my tummy? i believe very much in fate. i was given a chance to withdraw from this wedding, but baby came as a sign to say no, dont withdraw. ..so i have 2 reasons for this wedding..first, the baby. second, he is my first and i hope he would be the last. when it comes to these things, im still very conventional. not that i still love him like in the past, not that i still trust him very much..but i do believe in a second chance.. and i shall just pray that he would not ruin it. "gan qing ke yi..zai..pei yang"..especially now with the little one. i know, wedding should be mutual and should be happy. i shall let people around me shower me with words of blessing so i can become happy. haha..what a dumb thing to say. =P

i know i have to forget him. i cannot build my happiness on thoughts of him. i have already come to this stage of my life where there could only be one. but i just feel happy and at ease when i see him. just the sight of him makes my day. no kidding! his presence is that enjoyable. but i rather he not speak to me..it makes me feel so rubbery and dumb..cos i never say something right. and i rather he not sit next to me..i cannot concentrate on what im doing and would definitely not take my eyes off him. i still remember some things though not very clearly, and i like daydreaming about it. i do regret some things that i could have done..but i guess i rather not have done it because i am not supposed to. it would just bring guilt. it doesnt matter he doesnt know..maybe even better.. these are things he should not know..it might spoil the current relationship. he has changed a little since then but it doesnt matter. as long as i still get to see him. these are my thoughts and he would never know. in fact nobody knows. only me... but this is something i need to forget..this cannot stay, especially after the wedding. i am no longer like before..i need to remind myself. im going to have a family..a home of my own..one that belongs selfishly only to ourselves. this love cannot be shared. not with someone else..who doesnt belong. he can stay, but only at the back of my memory....not to be brought up ever again. i feel kind of sad..but this is how my life is gonna be and i have decided on this long before..no turning back. i cannot be fickle minded anymore...

it just takes time..
give me some time....

2007-05-19T11:27:00.000+08:00

my mum had a talk with us. i really hate to involve my mum sometimes..she already has so much to worry about. we have decided to carry on with the wedding..depite the fact that my mum tried to get us to postpone it. quarrels are quarrels, at the end of the day..we do not hate each other. just that quarrels are not good that all. we just have to work things out...

putting aside all these unhappiness.. we finally went through the "guo da li" yesterday. haha.. sent out most of the invitations to relatives already..today im gonna have to post out those invitations. still have got room left.. but shall see how then. there are still a lot left to do before the big day. luckily im working mornings the next two weeks..so should have time to do...

baby is 8 weeks old now.. my morning sickness has worsen..making it really difficult for me to work. and i feel sleepy so often. like now.. i mean, i just woke up..! haha.. but doctor says its like that. after the 12th week, i would be better.. =)

2007-05-14T23:15:00.001+08:00

i dont know what is wrong with him. it just pisses me off. i haved locked myself in my room now to blog. i cannot stand him.. he is watching hbo now and wouldnt give a damn anyway. he has been on leave since last saturday till this friday. but he does nothing at home. before i left for work at 6.30am, he was asleep. when i got home at 6pm, he was still asleep. this has been going on for the past few days. he doesnt even call or even sms me when im not home...i doubt he even give a damn if i went home safely or not. all along i thought..maybe...a little maybe, if i keep this baby he would at least treat me a slight bit better. but no. he doesnt even care to help me out with the wedding prep. im left all alone to arrange things. like its wedding of me and ME? simple task like helping me to call up the restaurant, he just waved it off saying he didnt know how to talk. worse still...i caught him lying again. we made a pact to tell each other everything. but he broke his promise once again as usual...like all guys. he went for a job interview without even consulting me. he said the young lady boss made him cooked a dish and started calling and smsing him ever TOO often. who knows if that was even the truth? he could have gone there to fuck for all i know. like how he always is like.. then he even got angry when i questioned him. he screamed at me stuff like that. hurt my feelings a lot..a lot. but i was used to it. i went out alone. i went to binge on my own. i spent $50 and 3 hours eating...before i decided to go home. does he even care? if not for the baby..really...i wanna postpone this wedding. if not for my mum, the stuff she already bought for me...i really really would have cancelled i think. this is driving me nuts. i guess he just no longer remembers how many hundred days he took just to make me go out with him...how many another hundreds of days it took for me to say yes to this marriage. i was blind then. after the marriage, everything just becomes invisible to him. i have given him so much of me..what else have i not done? i have given him things to be happy about, a place to live in, even his very own everything...yet he childishly talks about getting our own place all the time without considering our present situation. just what you want me to do? i really dont know. you mean you dont want the baby exchange for a house or what? i dont know... now.. honestly. i dont even know if i made a right choice to keep baby. i dont want to be so heartless.. but the situation seems to force me. nobody understands how difficult it is being pregnant. feeling nausea all the time, cant eat favourite food, cannot shop for long, tire easily, need sleep almost all the time..who understands? i feel so tired. baby, please help me decide. i want you. but your father doesnt seem to cherish you... what should i do..? =(

2007-05-08T10:56:00.000+08:00

i woke up too early..should have slept longer. cos i would be off today and tomorrow.. and today i would be meeting my pre-u classmates finally. gotta discuss about the wedding cos they gonna be my "jie meis". hehe.. i think i dont feel so good. my morning sickness is sort of getting worse, i think.. and morning sickness actually doesnt refer to just morning..its throughout the day. and last night was horrible! i couldnt sleep well cos i need to puke..yet i tried to force it down. sigh.. no, sour plums doesnt help. and im having a tummyache now..as usual..every morning. think my air-conditioner is too cold? maybe im gonna turn it off. gosh...i dont feel well. dont think about it..dont dont think about it and i would be fine?.. enough of my complaints. haha.. i have more things to worry about now that i cannot really fit into many of my pants. i have gained 1.5kg..i am fat. time to buy some new pants..no maternity wear yet. im not gonna wear it till im 3 or 4 months i think. hubby waited up for me last night.. he was supposed to sleep since he needed to get up at 4am. i got home at 12am and we went out for supper nearby. haha.. we slept about 2 and he got up at 4. i feel so guilty. maybe i should work mornings more often.. but i hate mornings. lol.

2007-05-06T19:21:00.000+08:00

supposed to be working this evening. but came home instead..sigh.. just my luck. already no gro working tonight..yet i had to come home..to rest. who would believe i actually fell down in the restaurant just now? that stooooopid housekeeping auntie who was mopping the floor..cant you just put that damn "wet floor" sign to alert people?? other than bruising my knee, i hope everything else would be fine. especially baby. i was so scared just now. i was so afraid my fall might hurt the baby. who would understand? i cried not because of the fall (cos this was like the 5th time or what i have fallen down in the restaurant cos of the stupid poorly-done flooring) but cos im afraid for the baby. well, baby should be fine. i will go and see the doctor first thing tomorrow morning. to think i was just discussing this with my manager the day before about my next 6 weeks at the restaurant. sigh.. its like this...i went to the gynae for the first time few days ago to check baby. baby is doing good and i could even see him/her from the ultrasound scan. so touching.. i mean, a life inside my tummy. my gosh... but cos of some medical problems, my gynae suggests that i dicontinue my job in the restaurant until baby is three months old. if not i would be very prone to a miscarriage..touch wood. i started to worry cos gynae actually said i cannot carry heavy stuff and be overworked etc. so if i dont work in the restaurant, where can i go? i was supposed to further discuss this with my manager today, and this happened. sigh.. i think i am such a troublesome employee..how?? haha.. i better go and see a doctor tomorrow then see how.. hubby sent me home in a cab just now.. he is working till 8pm tonight. i havent really chatted with him for long time. whenever i see him, its almost bedtime. and whenever he starts talking, i begin dozing off. lol.. its really ironic...

2007-05-01T19:50:00.000+08:00

work was tiring for me today.. it wasnt that busy, but it just wore me out. supposed to meet carol after work but she wasnt available..so i ended up going home.. and feeling sooo hungry..that i dragged hubby downstairs to take dinner with me. haha.. i was so touched this morning when he made breakfast for me before going to work at 4.30am. i could never have done that, too much of a sleepy head.. i just love his scrambled eggs. today i also finally told my manager about my pregnancy and actually started to feel less worried to work too hard. i mean, these are two different issues. telling my manager was just like informing her so she will know.. and work was too busy to worry too much about baby. one thing after another..im just so tired now.. my mood swings can get really extreme these days. but it wasnt too bad i guess. just my own thoughts that will affect me. other than that everythings good i guess.. i shall decide where to go when working becomes too tiring for me.. after birth, i want to stay home to take care of baby so he/she gets the utmost care..but at the same time i dont wanna give up my job.."she bu de". what a dilemma.. =P

2007-04-30T10:47:00.000+08:00

i know that keeping baby doesnt equal to solving my marriage problems. but i still feel baby should not be deprived of a complete family. god knows what will happen to us in future...but for now, baby will definitely stay. dont be so cruel so as to ask if im keeping.. i will, no matter what it takes. baby is innocent. it just came in time...whether to salvage my marriage or not, it doesnt matter. and yes, right now im carrying on with the wedding cos of baby. but yes too, i still do love him. i just hope our problems can be solved...... we have really been safe for the past one week...for baby's sake too i think. lets just hope baby is here to save my situation. hehe..

i think baby is making me feel hungry all the time.. but my morning sickness has been quite bad and is affecting my appetite. morning shifts make me especially hungry cos staff cafeteria's food sucks..so i dont take breakfast or lunch. yet when i get home, i cant eat much...i just wanna puke all the time. i havent even officially told my company yet. working gives me fear of hurting baby yet i still want to work. i dont want to be posted to some boring place where time doesnt pass. i shall see how when i get back to work tomorrow... baby is already 6 weeks and growing.. i feel happy. =)

2007-04-26T09:42:00.000+08:00

i think i am feeling happy. just a little confused. i mean i dont know if this is gonna be the right time. but i am not a heartless person. i just need some time to sort things out. thank goodness my wedding would be in about 2 months time. i cannot think about ending the marriage anymore. i cannot be so immature. what a twist of fate.. haha.. well......my period aint gonna come anymore...at least not for the next 9 months... *i am happy, period.*

2007-04-25T13:20:00.000+08:00

i hate to start with this. but life isnt too great for me lately. work is getting stressful..i feel sad that quite a lot of people are leaving the place. this make working even tougher as new people are after all new now.. every single day i have something to feel upset about at work. and no matter what i do, it just doesnt seem good enough for them..so i decided to take mcs..which is a really bad idea i know. i have taken like 12 days so far this year.. how terrible can i get? i just cannot stay anymore..i have to move. as if work isnt bad enough, my love life aint too good either. hubby and i seem to be bickering a lot lately..whether is it pms or not i dont know cause i have missed my period by almost a week plus and this aint common. i just hope it will come... the past few days have been safe enough but for how long? my mum took this matter into her own hands and arranged for us to see a marriage counsellor this week to settle our grudges against each other. i cannot accept the fact that he lied to me and made me marry him. it was something that was not important to him, but it is to me. if not why the on earth does most asians still emphasise on virginity? for him, he cannot accept the fact that actually i have extremely odd mood swings, short temper and possesiveness. he no longer works at blu, so i guess his stress level aint that high anymore.. he does breakfast at horizon club now and works from 5am to 1 pm daily. doesnt sounds too bad ya? he made me start to wonder why did i even marry him last year. if i null the marriage now, can i not be considered a divorcee? my thoughts are to this extent. yet i cant seem to let him go. i am just too used to staying with him. i cannot sleep alone for even one night. and i really mean cannot get to sleep without someone next to me. so i strongly objected to my mum's request to ask him to stay elsewhere for the time being. does all my relationships have to end this way? i am 21, not even 22 yet. i still have a long way. but suddenly the thought of relationships seem to turn me off. i havent been single since i was thirteen. i am just too dependent on guys. i can be independent in any way, living alone whatever but just not sharing life alone. goodness gracious...what have become of me..? sigh... for the first time in my life i actually got drunk two days ago. i used to hold my liquor well whenever i went drinking especially with him, he would have been knocked out by his first glass of beer..and i will continue to entertain his friends with like 8 to 9 glasses of wine before i cannot take it and will put a stop to it. i can actually control myself.. come to think of it, i realised i havent been out with him doing all these for more that 6 months already..maybe i have become lousy. haha.. but it was damn lousy ok..and so unglam. i was at my company's chalet organised by the restaurant. and all i had was 3 bowls of screwdriver..not knowing the level alcohol content in it. then i remembered i felt hungry and faint, then i cannot recall much anymore! i wonder what i have done within that time period..till i got home. i think i remember a little..maybe 20% i am not too sure..i dont even know if what i remembered was real or not. but suddenly i feel i rather not remember anything at all. it wasnt nice. i remembered someone carrying me to the room from outside, i remembered going to the restroom many times..but i forgot to puke or what, and there were a lot of commotion around me, i heard my name many times. and i think i actually hugged a someone but i aint too sure if it was real or not, and i cant really recall who was the someone..and i didnt want to ask although i really wanted to know. but it was comforting i remembered and i didnt feel i wanted to let go and i even had an urge to kiss the person if im not wrong..(OMG!!) why was it just that feeling towards this particular someone? i dont know.. how can i be so bold. then another someone carried me to the car i think..and i was home.. then i finally woke up about 4am feeling fully awake.. and i went to work at 6am. i went back again the next evening to retrieve my shoes but i didnt drink anymore...i stayed until about 1.30am and i took a cab home. what an experience.. actually i feel sort of awful about it cause it must have been so unlady-like to get drunk. i was wearing a skirt and im sure i must have been exposed! can everyone forget this and not bring it up again? its embarassing! and im afraid cause after all these....i suddenly realised i have a crush on someone. i think. but how can i? i havent forgotten my hubby but its true i have a crush on someone.. my gosh...i am so confused. this is wrong wrong wrong.. but the feeling is so...strong? can someone tell me what i should do? worse thing is im gonna be off for the next 4 days(clearing PHs).. and im gonna think a lot a lot. gotta occupy myself......

2007-03-31T20:10:00.000+08:00

my goodness! its gonna be april 2007 tomorrow..nearly 4 months since i last updated..
ok, quick update.

16th-29th December 2006...i was holidaying at China..Fujian..Xiamen..Shunchang. with him, my mum and brother. it was an eye-opener..very memorable indeed.

5th January 2007...My first day at work full-time (no longer STAR trainee) @ The Line GRO.. felt good to be where i was familiar with. but is it gonna be for long? ;)

12th February 2007...Laogong and i celebrated Valentine's Day @ Fullerton's Town Restaurant. disappointing experience. but quality time spent...*loved*

Skip Chinese New Year..it was no new year for me.
Then, many things, Dinner @ The Line with colleagues, Lunch @ The Line with laogong & Shirley, mostly shopped alone..how pathetic. haha..kidding. at times, i enjoy solitude.

14th March 2007...I completed my bridal photoshoot 10am to 8pm. shagged... my outdoor shoot was at Alexandra Hill, Tiong Bahru shophouses & Sentosa.

Then, busy busy busy & sick sick sick...

Today, 31st March 2007 still busy...Both happy and sad to be working @ The Line. I really hate morning shifts..have been working 7am-3pm/5pm for the past 1.5 months and getting broke (taxi everyday), used to it and urghh sick of it. I cannot decide what i like about my job other than meeting new people and chatting with my colleagues within. Every other thing just sucks when you become full-time. you see the true colours of many and wonder if you are gonna accept this plastic situation..tsk-tsk... work is like that i guess.. okok..enough of my nagging. look on the brighter side, it aint so bad if you just laugh it off.. my wedding plans are keeping me busy. 2 more months to the big day. invitations done, wedding cakes pending.. $$$ issues... all can be settled!? hee... i could hardly wait! so nervous yet so happy... well well....wonder when is the next time im gonna update. but thats okay, people you may just gimme a ring or sms..if you happen to read this. but if i remember (which i wished i always would yet did not), i will give you guys an sms or ring soon. i have almost lost touch with all my close friends..due to work work work. i either work, wedding or sleep..haha.. sigh.. today is an exception. i suddenly remembered my blog. lol.. anyway, i gotta jia you and stay happy while working... cheers everyone!

2006-12-09T21:54:00.000+08:00

it was the last day of exams yesterday and it was fun! the back 2 rows met up for dinner at heerens NYDC..but not all went.. dinner was alright compared to the NYDC at wheelock's place. that one was fabulous. we went for movie at cine after dinner and watched SAW III!! my very first R21 movie and we managed to sneaked a 19 year old guy in. haha.. ok, the movie really freaked me out. i am home alone right now..so dont wanna elaborate le.. anyway, one word GROSS! some sicko way of torturing human beings..who ever wrote the script gotta be an eccentric freak! eww... i went out myself this evening. went to bishan central..library, window shopping and to ntuc. stocking up for the one week without mama.. sad... sis brought jiaxin and herself back to mother-in-laws. so its just daddy and me at home. i did something stupid this morning. dad went down to buy lunch and an uncle came ringing my doorbell asking if he could buy our television placed on our balcony. i rang dad and he said yes. so i opened the door!! and realised how dangerous it was to let a stranger in. anyway, we completed the transaction quickly and i locked the gate. phew!
about 2 more hours befoe darling gets home... what should i do now?.. alright, read.. hee

back 2 rows!!

2006-12-07T16:31:00.000+08:00

i celebrated the actual day of my birthday with my dearest laogong.. yesterday we went to ritz carlton, greenhouse for buffet dinner. its my first time to greenhouse and i thought it looked very welcoming. looked like a greenhouse and ambience was warm. the service there was excellent..i really have nothing bad to say about that. compared to shang, ritz really stood out. laogong said maybe its because yesterday was a weekday, but i didnt think so. they were genuinely nice. from the hostess to the servers and managers. even the chefs! all of them were so smiley and willing to help. i was impressed. the food was good too. i thought i would never find another good buffet restaurant other than the line..haha.. i mean, food was good in quality, but not in quantity. at least the selection was there ba.. i already took note a few favourites!! i like the soba noodles with pan seared tuna, D.I.Y caesar salad, peking duck (it was no rubbish even at buffet line), thai grilled king prawns, tom yam soup & the a la minute chocolate souffle! yum yumm..the list goes on...
after i reached home from dinner, i got another birthday cake from laogong..and a rose.. my mum and bro gave me birthday pressies and we all watched a paid movie from scv. well...ya, i forgot to study! anyway, tomorrow is my last paper already.. and mummy & roy is flying tonight to shanghai le.. i will see her again only next week when i fly there.. time flies man..

key & lock bracelet from my mum

ezlink from my brother haha..

greenhouse

pretty desserts

christmas tree @ritz

2006-12-05T23:42:00.000+08:00

my 21st birthday celebration was really enjoyable. it was busy but at least i had the time to interact with all of my friends. all of them came one after another from 6pm to 9pm. haha.. it was a pity i didnt get to take pictures with all of them as they left early. i didnt entertain my relatives much! it was very very bad of me ya... my classmates were the last to arrive, and all the 6 of us stayed until 3am!! =)
instead of going on, i shall let the pictures say a thousand words... hehe

a 'Secret Recipe' cake from laogong

moomoo (Shirley) gave this to me the day before!

mani/pedi vouchers from kelly & shirley moo!

pendants from daddy..

from annie & xiao ting (ex-colleagues from Sweet Secrets)

from ragee, jane & delcine (pre-u classmates!)

from my sis...

crabtree & evelyn from aunt lilian

from daren..expect the unexpected.

hong bao from my classmates erasmus, chianghwan, brandon, nicholas, donson!

as for the rest of my relatives...they gave me hong baos too!!!
and...i bought a panasonic lumix digital camera today!
very very happy... =D

happy family

2006-11-29T21:24:00.000+08:00

it has been more than a month since i updated. how time flies.. today marks my last day of school. well..feeling relieved as well as a little upset. it means i cannot see my classmates often and slack, snack and chat from monday to wednesday. its gonna be work work work from 1st january 2007 onwards. 2 more days of work to go too.. than its gonna be exams, and a pretty long break before work starts again.. tomorrow have to see HR already..decide where i wanna work for the one year..
thinking..thinking..and still thinking...

the next upcoming event! my 21st birthday celebration this sunday @ daddy's KTV!! i have invited relatives, as well as friends from different walks of my life. about 40 over people in total.. i have received my first birthday present today from my classmates kelly and shirley!! its a nailzstory (manicure/pedicure) cash voucher! so exciting, and i like it very much! this is gonna be my fist mani/pedi session and they would like me to do it before my birthday!! well...maybe this saturday. but its sad..i just cut some of my nails short! how? its a habit..i cut my right thumb and index finger nails so as to facilitate removal of my contact lens. hee.. i think should be fine right..?? i shall go and find out.. shir and kel, if i didnt do before my birthday, dont sad k? i will do and make sure i show you both before school officially ends! haha..the french one right? =)

2006-10-28T00:02:00.000+08:00

tomorrow is my off day. same as laogong..hee.. but we cant decide what to do. wanna do so much yet dont know where to start. lol..should we go to sentosa-siloso beach, jurong swimming complex, stay at home cook and pig out, rent movies, go to the library, look for winter wear, check out vivo city, or just sleep late and waste the whole day? well...none of it may seem appealing to any of you. but all of these are to me, at least. oh well, let me ask him when he get back then. but i can expect him to say "anywhere you like laopo"-due to similar interests -_-zzz

just 5 more weeks to my last day at work as trainee. finally, after 2.5 years..i just cant wait to finsh up the one year bond and wash my hands off the "place". i enjoy the line hostess job very much but i just dont know if i should stay? should i try something else, again? my interest is so short span! such a headache... i shall see ba... =)

2006-10-09T23:34:00.000+08:00

just glanced through my blogs and realised one thing. i only blog when i am unhappy or really really happy.. thats a good thing aint it? lol =D

so im blogging now, which also means i have a few unhappy things on my mind that i really need to get off...

perhaps this aint my business but i am really very pissed off by what i heard. my hubby hasnt been happy working up at BLU only because he gets shit from the people there for all the wrong reasons. just recently, he cut his hair. really, really short almost bald, my brother did it for him. my brother bought a shaver so as to save $$$. lol.. then the people there tried to irritated my hubby by saying immature things like "wah..so loving ar..your wife did for you is it? save money to this extend. such a stingy guy blah blah blah". well, i told darling, at least thats what they thought and we are LOVING and THRIFTY. unlike those scums, fancy having a wife and son waiting at home yet he brings his CDC to geylang so often so as to try out different whores as well as practise threesome. yucks!!! just look at youself in the mirror! you are no hunk, just some sicko malaysian who got lucky and hence became a junior sous chef. *PUI* =(

as if there aint enough childish freaks in the world. my brother-in-law has to be one. and this is one big IDIOT. count himself lucky he has got himself a wife like my sis..my sis who seems to love him so much. in my eyes i see only shit. each time he comes over, i will just sian half! hearing what immature stuff he has to say or singing at the top of his voice despite being kicked out of the superstar competition, just simply makes me chuckle to myself and wanna puke. poor little jaslyn... no doubt she had all the love from us and she is a chubby healthy 4 months old now, her father just makes up the sad bit of her. tell me, what type of father actually tells a daughter to cry to her death for all he cares?

well well...these other peoples business just makes me mad too. at least there isnt anything to do with me. i am happy working at the line hostess stand, school aint too great but ok lar...my best thing in life now would be hubby =) we have bought the air tickets and booked hotels...this december i would be going back with him for two weeks and i just cant wait to meet his family! weee...winter! =)

2006-09-26T21:41:00.000+08:00

i felt so damn irritated by what i heard today. as if my luck wasnt bad enough.. sigh... if this damn freaking fat potato has already decided to resign and go to another hotel, then perhaps he should not even be remembering any of us back at this hotel. whats worse? a HR personnel talking bad about his ex-colleagues at a new hotel. hello?? you call yourself a HR trainer? i *pui*. your bosses are blind to have hired you i guess. perhaps, we were never his colleagues. just some people whom he is sooo jealous of. jealous that we are sponsered, that we are going to graduate soon..that some are degree holders. hahaha.. LMAO. if i dont get this off my chest today, i wont be me ok.. LISTEN UP FREAK(if you ever tried to find out more about me through my blog), i am going to be married so what? are you jealous of me? or are you bitter about being 26 and still single? my personal life is no freaking business of yours. so stay out of it and shut the freak up k! you are such a loser....

2006-09-18T23:19:00.000+08:00

i almost didnt realise it has been sooo long since i last blogged. lots has happened..good, bad, neutral etc. but i have been good! haha.. my exams are just over..which also means i have one more semester to go before i graduate. oh my go! time really flies. i have been studying and working for the past 2 years 2 months and i am still at it! no choice ma....no $$$ pay the bond if i quit. lol.. that aside, i am really happy i made it almost to the end.. when i graduate, it means 6 more months to my wedding, then another 6 more months to the end of bond. woohoo!
tsk-tsk...why am i like counting down.. counting down to what? i dont know, maybe freedom, and more salary? a hotelier's pay can be really pathetic..
last saturday i went down to the bridal shop for the first time. everything was new to me.. the lady said it might be too early to choose a gown so suggested i just try on and do some research before deciding somewhere around december to february. well, i tried about 7 gowns. the two coordinaters were super friendly and tireless.. maybe cos they not busy ba. but one thing i dont like..thay stayed in the changing room with me..and they see everything!! ahh.... okok..i am not that conservative lar..just not used to it.
our finances have been quite a strain on us lately. gotta cut down on expenses and being nice(=treating others 'makan').. lol..but when we remembered all our savings have gone to our wedding. its no big deal.. lol..
hmmm..i guess i wont be blogging much lately. gotta jia you for my studies!(excuse)
actually..a lot to do. book restaurant+liasing, air tickets x2, trip back to his home-winter clothes, xmas-gifts, chinese new year-new clothes everything, renovate my room, wedding accesories etc... these are my activities for my next 9 months or so.. =)

working at 7am tomorrow..wanna zzz le... night!

2006-08-30T22:28:00.000+08:00

sometimes i wonder if it is really worth sacrificing so much time just to learn something that you would be able to learn given time. i am not talking about myself..but my dearest laogong. well, after sometime at blu i kinda feel maybe it isnt so fair. for the same salary he used to get working 8 hours, he has to do double the work and even hours.. everyday he gets up at 11am, wash up and goes to work at 11.45am. finishes work at 12am and reaches home almost 1am, sometimes even later.. for the current job, he faces more stress, more "ugly" people and lots and lots of scolding and humiliation. is it all worth it?? on top of these nonsense, he takes only one meal a day or sometimes even none a day... how crappy can this get? i feel so sad about this. it hurts me so much because he feels so tired and hungry each time he comes home. its inhumane!!! sigh... whenever i questioned, all that he ever said was its okay... but its not to me! i am terribly upset about the management at his kitchen...cant someone do anything?? =(

i rather have him return to his '8 hours a day' job....

2006-08-25T22:35:00.000+08:00

my trip to genting was great..almost wished to stay longer! the hotel was good, weather was nice, just that the food is a little -_-zzz. well, it gets a little bored after like 2 nights but with my darling around. i couldnt be any happier. it was really a slack do nothing but enjoy holiday trip for us. the only thing that really disappointed me was the bad service of the coach company i guess. no doubt they have great coaches to bring us there, very comfy..but, i was given bad attitude even before the trip and during the journey the bus broke down so many times! finally it stopped totally on the way up to genting at 0500hrs. waited for an hour before another coach stopped by to help and we quickly hopped on. well, put behind bad experiences, the trip was not bad i would say.

ok, back to reality now. studies waiting for me to catch up! but i just can get myself back to the class, lessons etc.. i have no problems at all getting to work..im quite happy with work now. but lessons...sigh.. firstly, i cannot wake up on time, secondly i have no motivation to sit in any of the classes lastly, sometimes..no one to take lunch with me!! sigh.. excuses ya... =P

anyway, i gotta jia you! exams in a few weeks time...
i had enough break, gotta work hard wen! =)

2006-08-04T23:50:00.000+08:00

wheee...i am counting down to 14.08.06. the day i depart for..genting. haha.. i went to transtar to book the 2-way coach plus hotel today. my mum thought it would be best to stay at the better genting hotel. the last time i stayed there was more than 10 years ago, but had nice memories.. my classmate advised against first world for some reasons..so it was out of the question. the price difference was great.. first world is charged at S$91 per pax for 4 days 3 nights, whereas genting is at $205 per pax! see the vast diff? then i chose the double deck premium coach with massage chairs, lcd tv, movies blah blah blah because it was just an additional S$10 per pax. wanna try out ba.. anyway, gotta plan, then enjoy....with my darling only. hehe.. planning to spend about S$1k. kua zhang right? because we gonna live luxuriously for that few days.. food i mean. buffet, restaurants quite costly.. i wanna try the dinner buffet at genting hotel and he wants to dine at ah yat abalone restaurant. so...yup, $$$. ok, wanna go zzz le.. not very used to typing on notebook yet. my mum bought me this compaq notebook last sunday.. its a nice white notebook with a 14 inch screen. love it sooo much... thanks mummy! =)

2006-07-24T18:46:00.000+08:00

yesterday i had a "fun" day at work i guess.. haha.. from 2-5pm i was standing in front of ngee ann city, distributing 'the line' brochures.. omg..all for just an hour of ot. it wasnt as fun as it seems i think. at first was ok..then, it started to get warm..hot..heavy..tired..sick of it..wanna go home!! it all ended soon and we took a cab back..just 2 of us. phew! hey, its back to work till 11pm, not home.. =(

i think what happened today was pretty stupid. i wanted to rush to school..i was already at bukit batok. BUT, i slipped down the stairs..5 steps in total. it was embarassing, never mind..but it hurts!! my knee and foot was bleeding, my hand got scratch, and my stockings are torn. sob... the worst thing was i couldnt stand. and those typical singaporeans who walked past me only knew how to stare. FINALLY, a malay lady stopped by and offered me a tissue. she was alone and couldnt help me up. THEN, 2 kind-hearted aunties saw and came to help me. they helped me down and made sure i was alright before they left. luckily a taxi stopped by and i flagged for it. but damn it! the taxi driver was a jerk! he gave me a "why is your leg bleeding, can you dont get on?" kind of look and reluctantly drove off without a word. he purposely delayed and stopped unecessarily causing the fare to be a super ex $11.80(usual fare $8-$9). sigh...$$$ flew again..with bad service some more. taxi drivers are getting more and more horrible lately. they want to raise the fare yet provide lousy service. especially comfort..i have always placed it as my top choice, but i guess after a few bad incidents, im not getting on a comfort anymore.. instead, those black taxis(whatever the company) are getting better.. hmmm....my next favourite? probably not, their cars are too old for comfort.
oh, why am i gabbering so much about taxis? i dont wish to take much of it anyway...taxi=$$$. hee..

my dearest and i are planning to go on a holiday to genting next month. although its just somewhere near, its better than nothing. i am sooo excited. for the past 2 years i havent been on a holiday, so i am like craving for one now..so anywhere will do! haha.. to think since i was 5, i had been going on holidays at least once a year..mostly with my grandparents..until recently... well..i will get a lot of chances this and next year! =)

2006-07-14T16:50:00.000+08:00

its been like a year since i last worked a 7-3 shift..so its torturous!!! nothing like this has ever happened during my 2 years plus in shang... today..i actually overslept in the bus after work and sat all the way to serangoon. sob..sleepy.
i have so much to say...so let me prioritise =)

work
this is the biggest thingy on my mind. nothing can push this outta my mind (at least for now). this is my second week at the line..i have not been posted to be a server yet, i am at the reception...with the GROs at the line. sounds sooo nice right? actually its just simply hostess. but i underestimated this job..it is far more stressful than i had thought it to be. its more like "about building a bond with your fellow colleagues". just today and i was caught in 3 unhappy situations. my conclusion is they have something against me!!! hmph. i have decided, there is no point arguing.. say ba, say all you want i just know i will never win. haha..
ok, the main subject of the "lo-so" rantings has not been mentioned. my manager is right. he spoke to me yesterday and made me wake up from my trainee life. he asked if i would like to continue GRO for the next 5 months or do i prefer the service or bar. bar is out. i havent tried service. GRO is a torture for my throat, smile and feet. and i suddenly realised i didnt want any of it!!! his intention was for me to continue my one year bond at the line. he said he wishes to plan my career path so i can take on higher positions when i graduate. but no way! i have had enough of shift work, i want my life back... do i really wanna work in the high tea restaurant which is like full of "bitches"(women) instead? no too!!! back to rooms division? how ironic...
sigh...think...think...think....
today i received a good news though. my colleague from concierge saw me and told me she owed me $$$. haha... well, actually it was this guest i had helped with changing of his flight about 3 months back. he actually gave me a $50 tip. hehe... i will think about whether i wanna take it or not...

school
school is damn sucky and dont ask me why. although a have just one more semester to graduation, i am not interested in my studies anymore. this sem is the worse i guess..history, principles of management, english: college writing, tourism.
how fun can it get? -_-zzz

life
my life has been great and everything... a lot of planning to do and i am looking forward to going home with him! its gonna be like a break/holiday to me. hee.. although(as expected) i have been working 7-3 and dont get to see much of him, he requested for us to have the same off days and even woke up at 5am with me just to make breakfast and go to work with me. so sweeeet. he has been even better to me than before and getting better so i just cant ask for more..love my laogong sooo much! =)

its mums birthday tomorrow! she just bought emicake pastries for us to celebrate with her, and we have gotten her a pierre cardin wallet. *shhhh!*

2006-07-02T22:18:00.000+08:00

today is baby jaslyn's full month!
i have had so much fun being her "ah yi"! baby is now like the centre of attraction at home and sooo many ppl dotes on her. kinda like add fun to my family. hee.. love her so much ya...
tomorrow back to school le.. so i shall get more sleep!

goodnight! =)

2006-06-29T00:14:00.000+08:00

this week is work week...and today is the 3rd day. another 3 more days to the end of my happy days at reservations. well, i will miss reservations. really.. from next week, i would be at the line for next 6 months!! omg...how is it gonna be like? but no matter what, i know i will survive! haha..

laogong has had himself transferred to blu. and everyday he works from 1pm to 12am.. hardly get to see much of him.. when he gets home, i am about to sleep. when i wake up, he is still soundly asleep..like a log. haha.. well, i just hope he would be happy learning what he had always wanted to learn. if not for that dog at blu, his days up there would have been better. a lot better. *pui* dogsss...hmph! but no matter how late, i will always be waiting for you to come home de ok? hee.. like now...*yawn* good thing im working 10-6 everyday..but in future, when i work 7-3, can i take this zzz? haha.. -_-

from now to 21.06.2007 seems like so long..yet at the same time, its short. we have so much we need to do yet, yet so little time on hands. we would work it out i guess.. feels so exciting..haha... gonna have to visit his parents in february. then come june, going back there again...experience winter & summer. lol... nice =)

i am so stisfied with my life right now i get so full of myself. hehe

2006-06-22T18:25:00.000+08:00

welcome to my new blog!
hee..i just figured that i probably need a new blog to celebrate this new chapter of my life.. i am putting the past out of my sight, so i wont get to read, get to see or be tempted to read again. haha.. nah, there is nothing embarassing about my past. i am just so happy yesterday happened. my rom was at 3pm...the arrangements were taken care of by my ex-kindergarten, primary cum secondary schoolmate. it was such a coincidence she was working there. other than my parents and granny, carol came too.. hehe..with jayden!! jayden has grown sooo much and he is sooo cute! after the solemnization, we went to take pictures (photographer: my daddy) nearby and headed for dinner after that. it was just me, him, carol and our hotel friend. we went to dragon gate restaurant at harbourfront..we went there with a purpose actually. to take a look at the restaurant and take into consideration for the dinner next year. but...sigh..i was extremely disappointed by the poor service during dinner. wasted the effort of the pr lady who briefed me about the wedding menus. anyway, i had a great day yesterday. the hand bouquet was so to my taste, so pretty.. hee...
counting down to 21 june 2007 !

2006-06-22T17:06:00.000+08:00

some photos to start off my new blog... ;)

lastly, my special guest...hehe